The Struggle of Slowing Down

I was walking around the house anxiously looking for something to do, Germain takes one look at me and asks "what's wrong". I respond with "I don't know, I feel anxious" he asked me to explain further, and my response was "I feel like I'm not doing enough". He looks at me with a puzzled look, and says "how could you be possibly doing more, Jess, you do more than most people before 6 a.m." He's right, of course. He always is, but that didn't take away the feeling, so I decided to sit down and write about it.

I have always been one to take on all the things, I have no concept of what it's like to take things easy, take things slow, take things one at a time. In case you don't know what I mean, let me break it down for you, I have a full time and then some job where I lead a team of people, I also have a side hustle, I write a blog, I have an active social life (and social media), I have a passion for photography and a marriage and dog I am crazy about that also needs my attention. Literally ALL. THE. THINGS. I was starting to beat myself up because I had not got a blog up in a couple weeks. I have several half written blog beginnings, but nothing polished and finished and ready to post. Even though my schedule is so busy, I barely have time to breathe, I am giving myself a hard time for not doing more.

Well as you can imagine, that process of making myself feel bad for not being super human is not really working. It's creating more anxiety, instead of allowing more space for things I enjoy, like writing. So I had to slow down and reassess. Truthfully, this is the hard part for me, I am completely comfortable going a million miles an hour, and doing all the things, but relaxing, slowing down, and keeping things calm is a struggle. As hard as it is, I am realizing that it's necessary,

I am so guilty of trying to do everything and keeping myself at the bottom of my priority list, in hiding in being "so busy" that I don't take time to recharge, going a million miles an hour and still feeling like it's not enough, and saying I am okay, when I am not! I tend to consume content of people I admire, people I think are really killing it, but what I see them posting is may not be how they are actually feeling. It's so easy to get caught up in the highlight reels of everyone else. Social media has made impostor syndrome an epidemic. Keeping up with the Jones's has gone to the next level, watching your friends and families highlight reel everyday can have you feeling like your life is not enough, like you are not enough.

Who made the rule that I had to post blogs within a certain time? Oh that's right, it was me! No one (literally no one) else is sitting around thinking about how they haven't seen a blog in a few weeks, or about anything else I am doing, and spoiler alert, no one is sitting around thinking about your every move either. I'm the only one putting that stress on myself. Truthfully, as busy as I have been, I am quite sure the quality of the content I would have posted would not have been something I would've been proud of, so taking a few weeks off to recharge is just fine. I mean I am the CEO of this brand, I can decide to take a vacay whenever I want. Since I am in decision making mode, let's also scrap this fixation on doing things, repeat after me, it is ok to relax and recharge!

So, hey girl, in case you need to hear this today like I did, you deserve self care, even if it feels selfish. You are allowed to make time for whatever brings you joy (even if it is as simple as getting the perfect photo of your hubby's homemade pop tarts!), you can let someone else support you when you need a breather, and no matter what, you are more than enough, ALWAYS.

If you also feel the overwhelm of always needing to do something leave me a comment so I know I am not the only one and I can help support you too!