Self Care Redefined

The part of self care that has become really clear for me this year has been evaluating what self care is for me. Most people may not put happy hour in the category of self care, for me, the connection I have with people when we grab a drink and discuss life brings me undeniable joy. Don't underestimate the power of a cocktail and a good friend. Reading a book, playing with makeup, taking photos of my breakfast in perfect lighting. All of these things bring me joy. Those may not work for you, and that is perfectly okay, I highly encourage you to sit down and write out a list of activities that bring you joy and calm, even if they are not what you think they should be.

Rest .... Yes, you have to
Confession-- I struggle with rest. Blame my busy work schedule, packed social calendar, general inability to sit still, or my type A perfectionist heart. I recently listened to Rachel Hollis's podcast about health and she spoke about resting at a higher level. It was illuminating. If you have read this blog at all previously, you know Rach is my Oprah, I love her advice. She was specific to say, you need to rest everyday. Don't wait for the weekend or when "self care" is penciled in on your calendar, you need rest daily. That hit me like a ton of bricks, I have a tendency to save up my rest for Sundays as if I can only have it once a week. She mentioned creating space so that you are prepared to rest. Cut the caffeine, put your screens away, grab a book, have a cup of tea, whatever you need to wind down and here was the shocking part, she suggested to do this 2 HOURS before you want to be asleep. 2 hours? That’s crazy, but you know what, she has a point, I mean who do you know who can calm down on command? Here is more motivation for resting, in case you need it, you cannot create energy without rest. If you are like me and trying to do ALL THE THINGS, you need to rest in order to perform at the level you're reaching for.

Alone Time... No thanks
Time for another confession. I do not really enjoy being alone. Yes it is nice from time to time to have some space, but being alone is not something I prefer. I like to be around other people and energy, especially Germain and my sweet Abby Roo. We haven't been blessed with a little human yet, so maybe I don't truly value the alone time like I will in the future. For now, it gives me anxiety, but I have been trying to embrace it. It's a common known fact that quieting your mind can decrease anxiety and help your overall health, so it's worth powering through some discomfort on my part. So, I keep trying. Meditation is a well known cure for anxiety. Being alone and being still are both difficult for me, so you can imagine how meditation goes, however if I can be disciplined enough to work through it, I do feel a very big difference in my stress and anxiety. I tried something recently that I found interesting, when I am driving alone in the car, I turn off the music or book, or whatever I am listening to. You will immediately become more aware of the other cars around you. Without the lyrics in my head I was able to notice things and be present in the moment. I am not driving around town in pure silence, but if you’re looking for an easy exercise in being more present in the moment, I recommend it.

Stop voting on your emotions
In evaluating self care over the last year, I have been having an internal conversation of what is self care and what isn't. I know what brings me joy and yet, I am voting on whether or not that counts. One of my favorite humans (who happens to be a life coach) taught me not to vote on my emotions. How many times have you said (or heard someone say), I shouldn't feel this way. Just typing it brings tears to my eyes, because I have done this so recently. If you are anything like me, you are holding yourself to a level that is unattainable, and then of course beating yourself up when you don't reach it. Sound familiar? What I am striving for now is to change my self talk, to how I would speak to a friend. I would NEVER beat up a friend for not hitting a goal, especially if I thought it was too high to begin with, my guess is that you wouldn't either. Try being your own best friend in these scenarios, and if you want some help, call me or someone you know who can build you back up!

Adios, comfort zone
2019 practically just started, but my biggest takeaway so far is when you step outside your comfort zone, amazing things can happen. My theme for this year was fearless and I am trying to live up to that promise to myself. Another part of my own unique self care is learning something new. Germain and I recently took a cooking class for his birthday and it was so much fun, we even booked another one next week! I started taking writing workshops, which scares me to death, because despite all the kind words and support for my blog, I am not confident in my writing skills yet, but I am taking some action to get there. I signed up for two different online seminars on blogging and writing, Oh and this past week, I went live on social media for the first time, thank you baby Jesus I had some moral support, but terrified doesn't even begin to cover it! Turns out, it wasn't near as bad as I was making it out to be, I actually had fun. My point is, try something new, or learn something new, jump out of that box you put yourself in and live a little!

I am sure I am not the only one trying to put my self care into a pretty little box! Please leave me a comment and tell me:
What is your unique self care?
Do you struggle with rest or being alone?
Are you voting on your emotions?
What is the last thing you did to get out of your comfort zone?